"This is a civil rights issue," Paterson said from the news conference at his office on Manhattan's East Side. "For too long, gay and lesbian New Yorkers, we have pretended that we have the same rights as their neighbors and their friends. For too long we have allowed the perception that gay and lesbian New Yorkers have the same privileges as their straight brothers and sisters or mothers and fathers. That is not the case."
New York is now officially up to bat for Marriage Equality. Marriage is a civil right and will eventually be the law across the land for everyone. So, I'm wondering if our statistics as same sex couples will be the same as our heterosexual counterparts.
Although an urban myth, I like to think that 50% of marriages end in divorce. I'm sure that means another 10% would like to to get divorced but stay together for whatever reason; the kids, family pressure, social or work stigma, age, or maybe they just put up with the marriage for some other benefit that outweighs actually getting divorced. So that leaves about 20% at the 'satisfied' level. Let's say, half of the satisfied folks would be considered "happily married".
I was made quite aware of the benefits of marriage when I first went to pay my taxes at age 14. The tax rate was lower for those filing "jointly" than those filing as "singles". In fact, there are well over 1300 benefits that being married provides. Certainly if you are going to buy a house together, start a family, raise kids through college, retire and take care of each other through sickness and health, one should reap these benefits and get under the legal, civil marriage umbrella.
So I was wondering, since marriage is a legal contract between two people, why should love play any part in the decision to get married? After all, you can just live together if you are in love. No need for all that red tape tying up all of your hard earned assets and savings. Let alone the 50% risk of losing half or more of it to your partner if things should go wrong.
As gays, we've been living without 'marriage' and doing quite well for a very long time. There is only a small percentage of us in long term relationships where our assets are intertwined such that it would warrant marriage. For those in that kind of a relationship, the option for civil marriage is our right and should be a choice we're allowed to make.
So my fellow gays, if you are in love take it as far and as long as it will go. But to get married because you are in love? Think twice. People change, life moves us in different directions. Marriage as an institution has not proved itself to be a good option just for the reason of 'love'. There needs to be more of a reason than that. Like if those 1300 benefits would secure the temporal assests of your relationship. Then by all means get married and take advantage of your new rights. ..and may you truly live happily ever after.
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